On my way
by Pishinani
Summary: Takes place two weeks after dean tells Cas to leave (season 9). they both go looking for each other. but is it for the best? DESTIEL
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: don't own any characters etc, it would just be a car crash if a fangirl got their hands onto these guys.**

He didn't know why Dean told him to leave as soon as he came back, but he didn't ask questions. He knew that Dean wouldn't have asked him to go if it wasn't important.

Two weeks later and Cas could still see the look on Dean's face clearly. His words had told him to go, but his eyes had begged him to stay. But all the same, he still left. Sam had protested and Dean had just gone off by himself in the Impala.  
"It's for the best; for your safety." That's what Cas told Sam, but it wasn't for the best. It might have been safe, but it wasn't what any of them wanted or needed.

Cas was still confused and - honestly - more than a little hurt by Dean's sudden change in mood. When they spoke earlier on the phone it sounded like Dean wanted - needed - nothing more than for Castiel to be with him, and then when Cas woke up covered in blood, Dean had never looked more relieved. Now, Dean didn't even call.

Sam had made Castiel take one of their phones, so it's not like neither of them knew the number. Cas had tried calling the brothers more than once just to see that they were OK, but every time he called there was no answer. He tried to call Sam for the second time today, but again it rang out.

It wasn't as though Cas wasn't used to being cast out and ignored. But he had had enough, so as soon as Sam's voicemail started, he decided he was going to go back to the bunker whether Dean wanted him there or not.

* * *

It was like the conversation happened minutes ago. The shocked look on Cass' face when Dean told him to leave. "I just got here... but if that's what you want." Every word was said with a tone of utter disbelief. And Dean didn't blame him. He was just as confused as Castiel.

Sam had kept telling him to go and find Cas. And Dean had kept telling him he couldn't, that "It wasn't safe", that it was "better this way." But it wasn't safe. It was so, so much worse. The hunter knew that Cas had no idea about anything on earth. He couldn't even make a cup of tea when Sam got sick. He knew that sending the oblivious ex-angel out on his own might mean that he would never make it back, and that they would never see each other again. But this was _Sam_, his brother, his only family; the only person he cared about. If he lost Sam he didn't know what he would do. There would be nothing left. Except Castiel. But he was never coming back.

Dean was being driven to the verge of insanity with all of Sam's bitch faces, sooky tantrums and general moping. So when Cas was two weeks gone, Dean thought it was safe to go out on one of his brothers requests to search for Castiel. He had the full intention of driving, just driving, for the day and returning to the bunker once he thought Sam would be asleep.

When he told Sam he was leaving to look for Cas, he looked as though somebody had slapped him with a fish and then proceeded to ride off on a horse into the sun, naked, doing a jig. He rolled his eyes and shut the door before Sam could say he wanted to come. That was the last thing Dean wanted.  
About ten minutes onto the road Dean's phone rang.  
"Sammy? What's wrong?"  
"I am not '_Sammy'_, Dean."  
"Zeke?"  
"Yes. You cannot do this, you cannot bring him back here. Otherwise I will leave."  
"Relax, I'm just going for a drive." Dean scoffed and hung up.  
Now it was just him, his baby and the road.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two weeks since Cas left and although he missed his family, he knew he was better off alone. He didn't mind It either, being alone, It's easier to think.  
He stood at the truck stop In front of the map tacked up to the bulletin board. He was amazed at how far he had gotten In two weeks. He was two states away from the Winchesters and hadn't even been trying. Once he figured out the direction he had to go In, he waited.

Castiel spoke to everyone who walked In and out of the store at the truck stop. Some merely grunted In acknowledgement, but others sat and had their lunches with him. He sussed out each person before he asked them where they were going. He knew he wasn't weak as such, but without his powers, he wasn't going to risk It.

Three hours had gone by and still nobody wanted to give him a lift. He hoisted his bag onto his back and was about to start walking when somebody stopped him.  
"Where ya headed?"  
Cas spun around to face the source of the voice. It turned out to be a young, brunette woman In her late twenties. She smiled at him and put her hands on her hips as she waited for an answer.  
"Uhh, my family's house, down south." He had never told anybody that his family were the Winchesters, but that's how he thought of them.  
the woman smiled, "Need a ride?"  
Castiel couldn't help but smile back. "Yeah, thanks. I'm Cas, Castiel." He held out his hand remembering Dean and Sam doing this. She shock It, she had quite a grip for somebody her size.  
"Nice to meet you Castiel. I'm Alaska."

It turns out Alaska Is the oldest of four and has been driving for close to eight years. her dad died In her last year of high school and her mum took up drinking. She said It wasn't fair that he knew all this stuff about her and she knew nothing about him. So when she asked about family he told the Winchester story (leaving out the demons and angels).  
After driving for about twelve hours, Alaska pulled over Into the next gas station and reclined her seat. "you gonna get some shut eye or are you goin' to stare outta the window all night?"  
Castiel looked over to Alaska he noticed she now had a blanket over her and held out another In offering to Cas. Not wanting to be rude, he took It and lay his seat down as well.

* * *

-Dean pulled over at the gas station at about nine o'clock that night. He called Sam telling him he wouldn't be back tonight.  
"Have you found anything?"  
"Yeah, I asked round and a few people said they saw somebody like him. I'll keep looking tomorrow." He got out of the Impala and leaned against the slightly warm, black exterior.  
"Okay," there was a long pause and he knew Sam wanted to ask something else. Sam huffed, "Just Dean, I know he went away for a reason, and I don't know what It Is. But you know as well as I do that he's better off with us, here."  
"I know Sammy, I know, I'm trying my hardest. Call If you find anything."  
"Kay, call If you find him. Night Dean."  
"Night."

He missed when things were easy. Hunt this, kill this. Not any of this feelings crap. He pushed off the Impala and went inside to go and get some pie. 'Cause pie makes everything better.


	3. Chapter 3

Just when Cas was about to be consumed by sleep, he heard the familiar rumble of an engine. No, it couldn't be. He gave into his curiosity and sat up, scanning the surrounding parking lot. And there was Dean, walking into the store.  
"What is it?" Alaska rolled over to squint at Cas through the dark.  
"I, Uhh, have to, umm, use the bathroom. I'll be back." He nodded and jumped out of the cab.

He contemplated just going inside and talking to dean, but instead he jogged over to the Impala which sat on the opposite side of the station. He didn't think he would ever miss something so much, and this was just a car. He traced his fingers along the edges of the windows and around to the front of the car. Without even thinking he sat on the hood of the car and leaned back against the windscreen. The car was still warm underneath him, radiating what heat it still contained. He closed his eyes and started drifting back to sleep. This time it was easy because he knew he was safe.

* * *

-Dean was happy when he came out of the servo, because he had pie. Apple and a berry one, and they were warm, bonus. He smiled to himself as he walked across the lot to his car, but that smile turned into a frown when he saw somebody on, yes ON, his baby. When he reached the trunk of the car he made his presence known.  
"HEY!" the man jumped but did not move. "Get off my ca-" He stopped short when he saw who it was "CAS?!". Out of everybody he knew (which wasn't a lot) he did not expect to see Castiel.  
"hello dean." Cas smiled at the slightly bewildered look on Dean's face. "it's been a while."  
"Cas?"  
Castiel looked down at himself. As he had expected, he was still in the same body he had been in for years. "Yes, as you can see, it is me."  
Dean's face suddenly changed from stunned to angry, and his voice took a sharp edge. "Where have you been?"  
Castiel frowned "I've been where you told me to go. Away." He was a little stunned at how fast Dean changed, but he still managed to sound accusing in his answer.  
"You still could've called, or picked up your damn phone!"  
"I had no need to pick up my phone. Because you never called! But you had plenty of opportunities to pick yours up." Cas was off of the car now, moving away from Dean.  
But Dean followed. "What are you talking about? You never called see." He showed Cas his call log, showing nothing from Castiel's number, but at least twenty calls made to his phone. "You never picked up either."  
Cas stopped walking and turned, Dean stopping a few feet in front of him. "I don't understand." He shook his head. " I only ever got one call from Sam. And I didn't answer because I was in the shower. Even then I called him right back."  
Dean looked down, focusing on his boots. "sorry, Cas. I was just worried, that's why I came looking. I didn't even expect to find you." He looked up to find Castiel's blue eyes staring at him. His tone was the one he reserved for Sam when he told him everything would be okay. "I thought leaving you would be easier. Cold turkey. But it wasn't."  
Cas nodded. "Let me go and retrieve my things."

-Dean all but collapsed against the Impala as he watched Cas go over to a truck across the lot. Dean didn't think he would be this relieved once he found Cas, if he found Cas. He stood up a bit more when he saw Castiel open the door to the truck's cab. A young woman got out and walked around to hug Cas, she paused and turned to face Dean across the station. Dean held up his hand and she waved back.

* * *

- Cas thanked Alaska again.  
"It was nice to meet you Cas. Maybe I'll see you again someday." She leaned over and touched his arm with a wink. "See ya." And with that she climbed back into the cab.  
He turned back to see dean opening the door to the Impala. He walked over back across the lot and slid in to the worn leather seat.  
"So is it safe now?" All Cas got as an answer was a quizzical frown. "To stay at the bunker, with you and Sam?"  
Dean turned onto the highway before answering. "we'll see."  
Castiel didn't push the subject and stared blankly out the window trying to ignore how tense Dean was next to him.


	4. Chapter 4

They roll up to the bunker but dean doesn't get out once he shuts off the car.  
"Is everything all right Dean?"  
"Uh, yeah," Dean shakes his head free of worries. "Yeah, I just, uh. There's something different about Sam you should know about."  
"Did something go wrong with the trials?" Cas is worried now because Dean doesn't normally talk about this sort of stuff. Too 'chick-flick' for him.  
"Well, no, yeah. Okay. Sam died." Dean looks at Castiel as if waiting for a response, but all Castiel can do is nod, because it is the Winchesters, them dying does happen more than it should. "Well he's not dead anymore, obviously, but he's sometimes not him."  
Okay, now Castiel is confused. "How do you mean?"  
"He's possessed."  
Castiel doesn't know exactly how he looks, but he feels like he resembles a fish.  
Dean waves his arms around frantically as if an explanation will appear. When one doesn't he continue. "Not anything bad! No! By an angel, okay, that's not much better, but, he's a good one! Well he says he is."  
Cas can't remember Dean speaking so fast, ever. "Who?" he asks suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.  
Dean looks away before answering. "Zeke, Uhh Ezekiel? I call him Zeke."  
Castiel keeps his eyes narrowed when Dean turns back, but tilts his head to the side silently asking for more information.  
"You can't tell Sam though. He doesn't know." Dean scrubs his face with his hand. "If he finds out he might eject Zeke and then Sam will die. And God knows I can't lose him. I won't lose him. He sounds determined. "So please don't tell Sammy."  
It sounded like more of a question rather than a command to Castiel, but he didn't say anything, knowing that Dean still had more to say.  
"That's why you had to go. I'm sorry Cas."  
"It's Okay Dean I knew you had a reason to tell me to go. Thank you for telling me. Though, if that is the cause, then I should probably go." Castiel patted dean on the shoulder and opened the door. "Thank you Dean." But before he could get any further Dean grabbed hold of Cass' forearm.  
"Wait, Cas. You don't have to go." He let go when Cas fell back into the seat.  
"But Sam?"  
"If anything happens, we'll deal with it when it happens. Winchester style." Then because it's Dean and it's a chick flick moment he punches Cass' shoulder and coughs. "Let's go. Sammy's been missing you like something crazy."

* * *

Castiel smiles but wonders but wonders if Ezekiel is right. What is him being here will endanger the brothers? He has no way to defend them now. He's brought out of his own thoughts by a knock at the window. Too late now, he's here. Dean wants him here, so he'll stay.

They enter the bunker and Castiel sees Sam seated in a chair at the dining table. Was it the dining table? They ate there. But they also researched and did everything else there. 'The Table', that's what he'd call it. He nodded to himself and then descended the stairs.

Sam turned when he heard the two enter. His eyes fell on Castiel. "Cas!" then to Dean, rather gruffly. "you didn't call."  
"yeah, well, Cas." He trailed off mumbling something about beer as he left the room.  
"hello Sam." Sam's smile was contagious and Castiel found himself smiling as he sat across from the younger Winchester. "How are you?"  
"I'm good, haw are you? And where have you been-?"  
Before Cas could answer, he was taken aback by the flash of blue in Sam's eyes and his stiffened posture.  
"You should not be here Castiel."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Cas, where are you going?" Dean had just come back to Sam and Cas when he saw Castiel, with his bag, ascending the stairs.  
"I can't stay." He inclined his head towards Sam who was standing between dean and Cas.  
"Dean, I told you before. It is not safe with him here. If he stays. I'll have to go." Sam/Zeke (?) walked off towards Sam's bedroom.  
Dean watched his brother go and turned back to Cas when he heard the door close. "Damn it." He breathed. He set his beer down on the table as he ran after Cas.

* * *

"CAS! Wait." He gripped Cass' shoulders. "Don't go, it's safer if you stay. Even if Zeke says it's not."  
"Dean, I have to go otherwise Sam will leave. Or worse. He will die, because of me." Castiel looked off past Dean, shrugging off his hands. "It's probably for the best. That way you get to stay with Sam. And I don't have to worry about putting either of you in danger. My brothers and sisters will come looking for me. And when they find me, they will not hold anything back. They will not take into account your or Sam's safety."  
"Sam is a big boy now. If Zeke does take him away he can look after himself. It's you I'm worried about. God Cas, you can't even dress properly. What is that, a sweater?" he looked distastefully at Castiel's torso. "What happened to that hoddie you were wearing? At least that was half decent."  
Castiel tugged at his sleeve, he liked his sweater. "But Sam is your brother. You need him, he needs you. Now more than ever. I cannot get in your way, and I'm afraid that's all I will do."  
"Now Cas you know that's not true. Now come on, we'll talk to Sam." He turned and around and walked back inside. How was he going to solve this? Ezekiel would listen, wouldn't he? Sam was keeping him alive just as much as he was keeping Sam alive too. He wouldn't leave. Would he?

* * *

Back in the bunker he told Castiel to wait at The Table and went to go find Sam. He knocked on Sam's door and went in then it fell open. "Sammy?"  
"Dean, I told you, he cannot be here. The danger he is putting us all in just by existing is too great. I cannot keep Sam alive and fight off those who will want to kill us. You have to tell him to leave."  
"No." Dean didn't want either of them to leave. He couldn't even think about losing either of them. They were his family. Wait, when did he start saying Cas was his family? "Cas means just as much to me as Sam does. And Cas has nobody else here who cares about him. He has more people trying to kill him than people he even knows. I can't just let him walk away."  
"So be it then, I'll just leave."  
"You can't just leave Sam. He'll die."  
"I won't leave him here, he is my vessel, and he's coming with me. I know that you would much rather have Sam safe and away rather than dead."  
Dean couldn't argue with that. Partly because he didn't know what to say and also because he knew Zeke was right. It wasn't preferable that Sam wasn't going to be near Dean, but it was better than him being dead. So when Ezekiel pushed passed him into the hallway, he didn't protest. And when he heard the door to the bunker close behind his brother, he didn't go running after him. He just went to his room and slept. Hoping it would all be a bad dream.


End file.
